Kareem Rahma of Subway Takes. (Photo via Youtube)
BY LANA SCHWARTZ
Author, “SET PIECE”
The concept of the viral YouTube show Subway Takes is simple. Someone, anyone, sits down next to host, Kareem Rahma. They tell him a strongly held opinion on which many do not see eye-to-eye. Kareem Rahma then either lets them know he “100% agrees” or “100% disagrees.” There is no sentiment in between and no variation on the expression of these sentiments.
When Subway Takes first started, it predominantly featured comedians, likely people you’d never heard of or only knew in passing. Then, Subway Takes grew bigger. It got sponsors. It demanded bigger guests. When I saw Austin Butler on a press tour saying his take was that he “should be invited to more bachelor parties,” I knew that a shark had been jumped.
There seems to be a consensus that Subway Takes has gone too corporate. So why not reverse course now? It is not too late to talk to some people who are not famous. Regular New Yorkers, who happen to have some things to say:
Justin, an old sketch comedy teammate of mine
He moved to Rhode Island, so technically he is no longer a New Yorker, but you could never predict what that guy was going to say.
A subway conductor (or multiple subway conductors)
Subway conductors drive you all over the city. Would it kill you to ask them a question or two for once?
My dad
I don’t think my dad has any takes and would instead take the chance to tell the long-winded, Borscht Belt style jokes he’s fond of. However, my dad has a lot of friends he could send the clip to, and I’m willing to bet that men over 70 in Eastern Queens isn’t a demographic Subway Takes is currently hitting.
This guy who lives a few houses down from me
Every Halloween he hangs these zombie baby dolls from his front porch. I would love to know about some of the other opinions he has.
Robert Caro
While technically famous, Robert Caro seems incredibly down to earth. I’d love to know if he has an opinion about his local grocery store that simultaneously reveals a deeper truth about how power is structured in New York City. Not that I want to put too much pressure on him; I’d be happy to hear his top-line opinions all the same.
A girl named Amanda who I went to sleepaway camp with
I can’t figure out what she’s up to and this would be a fun way to find out.
Children who aren’t The Rizzler
I typically scroll away when Subway Takes makes an appearance on my feed, yet something was oddly mesmerizing about The Rizzler’s conviction that “peanut butter is overrated.” If we’ve learned anything from Sesame Street over the years, it’s that children, famous or not, are often very charming and say strange, unexpected things.
Mrs. Met
This could be her well-deserved chance to spin off her career from the Mets, who most certainly do not deserve her.
Lana Schwartz is a writer who was born and raised in Queens and today lives in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared on The New Yorker, The Onion, McSweeney’s, and more. She is the author of the books “Build Your Own Romantic Comedy” and “Set Piece.”
