“As someone who grew up in Queens, at a time before avocado toast, I developed a terminal case of Bridge and Tunnel Syndrome.” (Photo: Wikimedia)
By Lana Schwartz | lana.schwartz925@gmail.com
If you have ever lived in Brooklyn and have had the misfortune of having someone close to you live in Queens, or lived in Queens and had the misfortune of having someone close to you who lives in Brooklyn, then you know — traversing between the boroughs is not for the faint of heart. Going from Crown Heights to Forest Hills. Flushing to Bushwick. Bay Ridge to Woodside. All of these are one hour-plus subway rides, with your best option involving going through Manhattan to reach your final destination. Unless the person you are trying to see is standing on one side of the Kosciuzsko Bridge and you are on the other, you will face some sort of trial and tribulation trying to reach your destination. Maybe even so if that’s the case. Have you ever walked over the Kosciuzsko Bridge when cars are speeding across it and the bridge shakes, forcing you to question the bridge’s structural integrity and if you’ll be one of the unlucky people on the Kosciuzsko Bridge when it goes down?
Anyway. I know there are reasons for interborough travel beyond seeing friends, but I, for one, have limited mine.
A few weeks ago, I said that the reason why it’s so hard to travel between Brooklyn and Queens is to “keep us weak.” I was joking — but only at first. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was true. As someone who grew up in Queens, at a time before avocado toast, I developed a terminal case of Bridge and Tunnel Syndrome. Hailing from the furthest reaches of a tertiary borough, I dreamed of making it amongst the skyscrapers. Now, things are different. I live in Brooklyn. I work in Brooklyn. My friends live in Brooklyn and sometimes in Queens. I have exactly one friend who lives in Manhattan, and when we hang out, she comes to Brooklyn. I often forget Manhattan is even there, except when I have to move through it to go somewhere else, or I am seeing a movie. And I would hazard a guess I’m not alone in this. I do still have that Bridge and Tunnel Syndrome, though it has since manifested itself differently, and become a general chip on my shoulder, non-borough-specific.
Could you imagine what would happen were the marrow between Brooklyn and Queens to become navigable? Would the entire GDP of Manhattan sink? What else might the Commie Corridor accomplish? For what Manhattan now lacks in cultural cache, it makes up for in its retention as the city’s cradle of wealth and power.
Years ago, I said I dreamed of a future where there was an easy way for my children to get to Williamsburg to Astoria. Those children are no closer to existing, but neither is that interborough express. As of this writing, there is no way to tell which will come first.
Lana Schwartz is a writer who was born and raised in Queens and today lives in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared on The New Yorker, The Onion, McSweeney’s, and more. She is the author of the books “Build Your Own Romantic Comedy” and “Set Piece.”
