“To be alive is to be inconvenienced. If you’re going to be inconvenienced no matter what, you may as well enjoy yourself.” (Photo: Jack Delaney)
By Lana Schwartz | lana.schwartz925@gmail.com
I believe my ten-year-old niece to have one overarching impression of me, based on the thing she tells me the most often: “You have a lot of friends.”
I am not in the position to objectively say whether or not this is true, nor I am in the position of arguing with my ten-year-old niece. That said, if there is a kernel of truth to this — and I do have a lot of friends, or at the very least an ability to maintain relationships — I would chalk it up to my strong capacity for being inconvenienced.
I don’t mind staying out late. I don’t care if a bar is too loud. I am not bothered by long subway rides. If it rains and I get wet, I know that eventually I will be dry. I don’t mind standing, and it also never really occurs to me that a friend may have picked an expensive bar or restaurant, because at this time, most bars and restaurants are expensive. I may not enjoy waking up early, but if I have to, I will.
What I’m trying to say is that if you invite me to do something, I will probably say yes and do it. And in my time of entering into friendships, I have found a key tenet of maintaining them to be making plans, saying yes to plans, and acting on those plans. (The final act of this is crucial. You can agree to as many plans as you’d like, but if you don’t show up, people remember this. They will no longer enter with you into the “making plans” phase of friendship.)
Sometimes, in the process of making, saying yes to plans, and executing on those plans you may be inconvenienced. If that happens, it’ll be ok! I promise. You will catch up on sleep. Your diet will get back on track. Your accounts will balance.
I am not suggesting anyone throw themselves in harm’s way. Don’t go out if there’s an active tornado warning or you’re contagious with the flu. Use your best judgement. To be alive is to be inconvenienced. If you’re going to be inconvenienced no matter what, you may as well enjoy yourself.
Lana Schwartz is a writer who was born and raised in Queens and today lives in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared on The New Yorker, The Onion, McSweeney’s, and more. She is the author of the books “Build Your Own Romantic Comedy” and “Set Piece.”
